You Might Be Gone...

Even though you may be gone
I still sense your presence;
The spots you kept warm
Still feel the same
Your imprint is still in the floor
From the nights you spent close by

I miss your soft touch,
A warmth so soft – it touched the heart,
Still warms it every day
And you showed me the way

I t was over way too fast…
You gave me the will to live –
To forget the past,
You left all you had to give

It’s not what I had wished for
Spilling so many tears down my cheek;
There was nothing else I could do
You were so special –
And now you’re gone

Running at the speed of sound
I know you’re not alone
You made me so proud
Down to the last bone
It’s so hard knowing that you’re gone…

I know how it feels to be let down –
Your fighting spirit grows in me
It’s what gets me through…

Every day I come home,
Visions of you there to greet me
Flash through my mind –
I wish it was real…

I know how it felt to be confined
To a place in my mind
And you helped me out –
I wish I could’ve helped you

Picking up the pieces
Is so hard when you’re in pain…
The hardest part is sorting through all the pictures
And re-living the memories

You might be gone –
I still see you on day one
When the journey began;
The love was unconditional
Something so special I won’t find again –
Part of me rests with you…

Decade

I remember you fighting through every day
You were there until the inevitable
Yet you were fighting alone in every way
And now you’re irreplaceable

A decade has gone by –
The pain still hurts every day
In a new way, I cry
For new things learned –
You suffered in every way

Things never felt right;
Listening to the words said
Not thinking about from where they came
Now memories shine in a different light;
We were misled,
Things won’t ever be the same

Lucky to have the things you left behind
Though some will never grow to appreciate,
Wish I could see you again to clear up the past –
The hardest part is reading your name spelled in concrete
Knowing you were made the enemy……..

Yeah, a decade has passed,
Sometimes it takes years to learn truth;
You suffered in vain –
Your legacy will always last

Wish I could see you again to clear up the past,
The person you really were will always last;
Every night I see visions of the real you –
Alive today and no longer suffering –
The real you that loved,
But was pushed away……..

Sometimes truth hides within
Those fingers were pointed at
And the one who suffered is gone

Decades may seem like yesterday
But the pain will grow as you learn……..

The ones you loved most were turned against you
Yet you protected us from total loss.

So This is Love

Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do –
Messages I heard in the back of mind wouldn’t let me go free –
The smile on your face is only a glimpse of all that’s inside
But the flaws I thought I had weren’t even real

You see, I almost gave up,
Yet I knew you were somewhere to be found
Took so long, but the time was right
There’s so much more left to go

So lonely, I prayed that one day this would come
So many times I felt so overlooked,
The rejection I felt was the frail bridge that led me to you
Now it feels like a new beginning on the other side….

So this is love,
Something I’ve waited so long for
To heal the wounds of the past
It’s only the beginning –

There’s nothing to be scared of,
No ro om left for any more pain,
Only room for love to grow,
It feels so right….

So this is love,
I taste it in the warm tears of joy streaming down my face,
I feel it in our hands together,
And I smell it in the sweetness of your hair

Nothing so great has ever happened,
It makes me want to be an even better person
And the sound of your voice fills me with a state of bliss
Like I’m cherished….

And I’ll hold you until all the pain is gone;
You’re like a breath of fresh air on a warm spring morning
While everything else is blooming,
And the stitches on my heart fall away because you’re here now –

So this is love….

Hearts So Heavy

Come closer
You need to hear something
Hypocrites stand all around
See it in their eyes – times are tough
When the pressure gets too rough
They get scared and start hiding
Wrapping their money up tight in arms
Others are left crying

Tired of the fake words we’re prayin’
Government sayin’ “they don’t know”
Forget it – they don’t care
They should walk in this pair
See if they can bear
No – they won’t dare
Tired of being their tool
Workin’ to put more water in their pool
When you can’t afford to eat
They’re marching to their own beat
Telling you it’s your duty
To work and make end’s meat
Takin’ the keys
Smiling all the way to the auction
When you can’t pay your mortgage;
The rich earned what they have
But what about you?

I catch myself watchin’
Men playin’ a game I love for millions
Love it so much I’d play for free;
On the news you hear about another spree
Yesterday a soldier died in vain
Tomorrow companies will beg for billions
Syndication keeps our eyes glued,
Government fighting over power
While people are being sued
And lose everything in an hour
The terminally ill can’t get help
But those who don’t need it qualify

The world is dark
Real heroes are left behind
Searching for a way to make it through another week
Scraping enough together to pay the heating bill
Is this week’s goal;
Yesterday he heard his cousin
Complain about being broke,
Drivin’ a BMW
At least he’s not a POW
Thankfulness has lost its meaning;
Yeah, I’m too nice –
I should’ve said something

To them everything’s a joke
I don’t hand out silver platters
I’ve heard the zipper of a body bag –
It plays with your mind
And helps you value what you have
It never goes away…..
Never goes away…..

With hearts so heavy
In a room so cold
Tears roll down to devour you.

Still Waiting

A broken heart aches inside
It makes you feel alone
They say it heals over time
But I’m left on the outside
Wishing I could belong
In this instant right now

I’m here still fighting,
You think everything is okay
I still have hope
But you have no idea

I gave up
Didn’t realize things were so bad
My heart’s still beating
It feels nothing inside
The numbness is so strong
There’s been little healing
But I’m still going –
Still holding a sliver of hope
Waiting for something good


Light in the tunnel got brighter
I was still confused
I did my best to keep it alive
It was like all the rest

In my mind I’m still wondering what went wrong –
Just not as much –
It’s still searching for a reason
Still searching for affection

I gave up
Didn’t realize things were so bad
My heart’s still beating
It feels nothing inside
The numbness is so strong
There’s been little healing
But I’m still going –
Still holding a sliver of hope
Waiting for something good


I’m waiting for another chance –
A new chance at what I need
I’m scared to try again

And I’m still fighting the pain
Because there’s nothing new
I don’t know where to go

And I’m still waiting on your promise
It says you’re with me –
You feel the pain too
But I can’t take much more


The tears on the ground
Left me torn apart
They’ve dried up now
But they still find a way out
When I feel so alone

Yeah, I gave up
I’m tired of the heartache
I’m tired of feeling alone
And I’m tired of being left out

My patience may have worn thin –
But I’m still hoping.

Crash & Burn

How do you live with yourself?
Do you have any idea
Of what you’ve done?

You’re plagued with lies,
Filled full of deceit……..
They fed my depression
And your rotten eyes
Said you were one of the elite
And began your regression

You should know……..
It’s time for you
To crash and burn
You’ve caused too much pain
And you think this is ok,
You have no idea
How much you hurt……..

I cried
When you lied
I even gave you my trust,
But it turned out to be a bust…….

I’ll never understand
Why you do the things you do,
I don’t think I could withstand
Speaking to you again

It’s time for you
To crash and burn
You’ve caused too much pain
And you think this is ok……..

The air you breathe
Poisons everyone……..
The thought of you
Makes me sick……..

I won’t accept an apology,
Your words burn me alive,
I’ll pray for everyone
You’re acquainted with

It’s time for you
To crash and burn
You’ve caused too much pain

Your day will come
To ask for forgiveness……..
But it won’t be mine.

Down, But Not Out

In my dreams I suffer,
Reliving things from the past
Because they were all so real
In them, I’m all alone

Wake up in a cold sweat
Realizing it’s all over
And my mind is just playing games
Refusing to let me forget who I am
So you want to know why I’m the way I am?

I’ve grown up suffering and watching
Its hard letting it go –
I can’t just forget my childhood
Every memory would be gone

I know it’s crazy, but it’s all
That’s left in my mind;
I don’t want you feeling sorry
Cause it makes no difference
But thanks for being so kind

A seratonal imbalance keeps me down
Only a few understand
Although I asked for help
I’ve told you why this is
I just try to withstand
Not pushing you away
Because I’m not at my best
Will you help me find a way?

I’ve grown up suffering and watching
Its hard letting it go –
I can’t just forget my childhood
Every memory would be gone

I know it’s crazy, but it’s all
That’s left in my mind;
I don’t want you feeling sorry
Cause it makes no difference
But thanks for being so kind

Sometimes I feel like I bring
Everyone else down;
Not finding a way out
I stood at the doorstep of suicide
But overcame knowing it’s
Not the right option
And I’m thankful I’m
Still in the right frame of mind

Remembering all I’ve overcome
And the pain I’ve hidden for so long,
I will continue on,
I will continue on.

The Mistake

Sometimes the sweetest things turn out wicked
And some of the best decisions turn out the worst;
I poured out my heart –
There’s nothing left;
And this was the best thing to ever happen to me,
Yet you turned it into one of the worst
Yeah, it was something so great hidden in disguise
But you overlooked it in your lies

Now I realize my mistake –
It was you,
And I’m your mistake

The soft words that flowed from your mouth
Led me down the wrong path;
The feeling I had was real,
You chose not to listen
And you failed to realize it

So welcome to loneliness
And seeing how it feels
You’re putting yourself in this carnage
Someday you’ll realize what you’ve done

Now I realize my mistake –
It was you,
And I’m your mistake

The spear you threw
Pierced right through my heart
And now I see that yours is really black –
An honest judgment after the fact,
I should’ve seen it from the start

Maybe I was desperate
Reaching somewhere I shouldn’t;
The scars you left unlocked old ones
Sending me back in time
To the depths of my mind terrorizing my soul

You’ll never know the amount of pain you imposed
Misleading and killing something so good
And you’ll never understand what you meant
Now I know what I meant to you –
And it was nothing.

Cold World

Times have changed,
Yet I feel the same I always did;
The blank ceiling reminds me
How my heart feels inside
And the scars just won’t heal

Every day I’m haunted by the past
And faced with the reality
Of what happened and
What could’ve been

Warm tears burn my eyes
Terrorizing my soul –
I try to help myself,
But it just gets worse

I reach out for help,
Yet those closest don’t respond
And I’m left questioning who my friends are

I search for a taste of true happiness
But only get stabbed in the heart –
I don’t even know why I try
And I listen to another lie
I pray every day for this to go away
And it never does,
I don’t know what to do;
The faith I had hangs by the last thread
And I walk this path full of dread

All this pain –
I can’t make it go away
I think I’m going insane
But tomorrow’s another day

It’ll be better in the morning
Until it hits me all over again
And I have to face the cold world.

Moving On

I haven’t had much to say;
Others’ words are a high price to pay
Changing isn’t all that hard
Fading memories of a haunted past
Are finally letting go
The pain is healing slow,
Finally it’s easier to live
Knowing that you’ll forgive

Now there’s a reason
To leave behind all the scars
There’s comfort in how
My mind‘s reopening and
The agony has held me back too long

Memories last forever;
Bad ones are all I have
This is the time where
I decide to let them go
And make new ones

Now’s the time to
Become who I’m going to be
Leaving behind all that’s happened
Fear has flowed through my veins
Keeping me away from where I’m supposed to be

A blackout of my younger life
Is what I need for moving on;
A time for making new friends
And strengthening the old ones
Will get me through this

It’s hard to understand
If you haven’t walked this path
Maybe you feel the same

Now there’s a reason
To leave behind all the scars;
The strange way things happen
Isn’t all that strange
And you only learn
What you really want to

Now’s the time to
Become who I’m going to be
Leaving behind all that’s happened
Is only the next step to moving on.